ViperBacks beat OldHornz

  Posted June 24, 2014

Taking copious amounts of wiffle-ball batting practice over the weekend, the DBacks were geared up to take on the Longhorns Monday night. With the majority of the staff's arms hanging from throwing said wiffle-balls, the DBacks convince retired pitcher Joe Sergent to take the mound. Sergent didn...

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DBacks downed by Mukes 7-5

  Posted June 16, 2014

The DBacks rolled into Wednesday night's game vs. the Mukes (aka the Met-Dukes) on quite the streak, looking for an easy victory against the historically God-awful franchise. Oops. Turns out the Mukes' recruiting staff went far beyond the drunk imbeciles at Ranchmans and they actually picked ...

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innisWIN!

  Posted June 09, 2014

Innisfail Tournament: Game 1: Trask took the mound game one. He gave a “Trask like performance” where handle-Jew-shots and off-the-end-nubbers were flocking to the field in swarms. Supplemented with timely errors the dbacks found themselves down 4 – 1 after 2. No one can recall how the dbacks ...

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DBacks Walk Off on Cards

  Posted June 06, 2014

DBacks faced the Cards for the first time this year, in the battle of heavyweight bush-leaguers. They did not disappoint. The bush was so thick in this game 70's porn stars would have hurled. Veteran Tony Wylie took the ball for this game...let's flashback to two years ago against the very sam...

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DBacks steal two from White Sox

  Posted June 02, 2014

Game 1: DBacks 8, White Sox 5 The first 9am game of the year started quite rough for the DBacks. In the first, 1B Thomas Gayef made no attempt to catch a popup that dropped 10 feet from him. "The ball was in the sun...so I said 'NOPE'. That's like the reverse of calling for a ball, right?" sai...

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DBacks crush under-manned StagPack

  Posted May 26, 2014

Game 1: Dbacks 11, Stagpack 1 Opening Day! In the absence of usual Opening Day starter Tom Gayef (who was on vacation with the wifey), the DBacks elected to go with soft-tossing lefty Axel Christoffersen vs. the predominantly left-handed lineup of the Stagpack. Axel proceeded to baffle the un...

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Recruiting

  Posted March 24, 2014

Recruiting season is in full swing now with the team looking to replace between 20 and 25 players by opening day.  Management was not happy with the results of last season and decided a complete overhaul was required.  A source within the team was quoted as saying "we need player...

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Dbacks beat 'Cocks 9-0

  Posted July 30, 2013

This game did not live up to the usual DBacks/GameCocks matchup, as the 'Cocks were short a few players and had to recruit through the "Looking For" section of Kijiji....

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DBacks down Dukes on Pack The Park Night

  Posted July 30, 2013

Well Pack The Park had a decent turnout as the DBacks brought the other half of their slo-pitch team out.  An entire book on heckling was printed, with some absolute gems being tossed around the entire game.  Beers were in full-effect....

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Longhorns dime DBacks 15-2

  Posted July 30, 2013

DBacks were feeling pretty good after the pub-stomping of the Longhorns in Game 1.  DBacks starter Tom Gayef decided to throw with Fort Sask that afternoon in Red Deer vs. the Cardinals to "Pad stats and pick up the easy win".  Game 2 start is offloaded on Ryan Saunders. &nb...

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