2009 Game by Game Season Recap.
10/20: Time for an update on how all the Cobras are spending their autumns:
Kahtan- Playing football up North and taking numerous pictures of dead deers and posting them on Facebook.
Food: Being a productive, proactive member of society.
Natron: Living the life of a tall man. Still in 7th heaven because he got to be "in" a wedding.
Farni: Doing smart banker things.
Matty G- Trapping people inside coffins and eating soup at the Sunshine Factory.
Goose: Bartending with a sweatshirt on with the sleeves rolled up. Possibly losing weight.
Jensen: Unusually quiet lately. Possibly plotting world domination.
King: Kicking field goals??
Z: Following Matt Loskota around. Trying to improve his poker game. Trying to cut back on his love of Badminton.
Little Ras: Getting arrested at the airport because his groin set off the metal detector.
Mase: Training weaklings, and driving around looking for people to fight.
Rink: Rehabbing his torn taint. Working bizarre hours.
Strouts-Works at a restaurant where he undoubtedly spends the majority of his time picking on his fat nerdy co-workers.
Deets: Not supposed to say, for fear that the wrong people will find out.
KT: Constant home reparations, and trying to avoid the closet he will eventually come out of.
John LincolnLog- Apparently ruling the City of Mankato with an iron fist.
Adrian: Same ol', same ol'. Chewing, and frowning, and falling over a lot.
The Minneapolis Cobras Baseball Club, established 1999, is one of the most successful Class A baseball teams in Minnesota. In the 10 years since inception, the Cobras have reached the State Tournament 8 times, finsihing 2nd in 2000 and 3rd in 2003. The Cobras have players from all levels of competition, and have had several turn professional after playing with them. The Cobras are managed by Rob Gossard, the 4th skipper in Cobras history. Come out and enjoy a game.
9/11: Congrats to former Cobra Matt Loskota who was married on Friday night. For more details on the night of revelry check out http://jenseninthahouse.blogspot.com/2009/09/skptes-wedding-reception.html
8/1: Best of luck to Wesley Homes, the Warriors, and the Rock. Way to go fellas, don't disappoint us.
7/29: Cobras season comes to an end with a disappointing defeat to Wesley Homes 5-2. Wesley did everything just a little better than the Cobras in the series. Tyler Miller, Ben Grams, and Luke Beresford pitched well, and Ted Farni hit a 2 run HR for the Cobras. It just wasn't meant to be as Wesley Homes hit in the clutch better. It was a challenging season for the Cobras. Injuries to Matty Germar (Broken Wrist), Matt Rink (Hip Surgery), Brian Jensen (torn bicep), Rob Gossard (pulled quad), Zach Strouts (Bad Arm), and Adrian (Spontaneous Falling Over Syndrome) put the Cobras in some shorthanded spots all year. Some good came from this. Kevin Truax showed that even after 10 years off he is still an upper echelon starting pitcher. Kahtan Al-Kaissy hit the ball well, in between saying head-scratching things and smoking Black & Mild's, and Mason Reinhart became one of the most feared hitters in the league. It won't take much for the Cobras to get back to where they were. Hopefully 2010 is the year.
7/28: Cobras drop the first game of the best of three series to Wesley Homes 4-2. Cobras and Homies both have ample opportunities to score but fail to do so. Mason Reinhart hit a two run homerun in the fifth to tie the score at 2. The game remained tied until the bottom of the 8th when the Homies plated two runs on a blooper to left and a foul pop up. Cobras had two on with one out in the 9th but a double play ended the rally. Steve King and Nate Broehm pitched well for the Cobras. Kevin Truax had two hits. Now it's do or die time as the two teams square off again tonight at Parade Stadium. Game is scheduled for 8:30 but will probably begin around 2:00 AM. Castle may be asleep in the booth by then, and Adrian's brother in the Wesley Homes hat will be sleeping in the corner. See you there.
7/25: In a do or die matchup between the Richtown Bombers, the Cobras come away with a convincing 7-1 win to move on to the best of three round, where they will face perennial state contender Wesley Homes. Cobras struck first in the bottom of the fourth after both teams had put up zeros for 3 and a half. Mason Reinhart led off with a single, stole second, and went to third on a Chris Herbert single, Kahtan Al Kaissy then singled in Reinhart. After a double play, Brian Jensen doubled in Herbert, and was doubled in by Dan Thompson. The big blow in the fourth was supplied by Al-Kaissy, as he crushed a hanging change into the sculpture gardens for his first Cobra home run, and then scampered around the bases as giddy as a schoolgirl, almost running into the 1st base coach in the process. The Cobras would tack on one more on a Ted Farni single up the middle for their 7 runs. Kevin Truax was dominant on the hill for the Cobras, giving up only 4 hits while striking out 7 in six innings. Nate Broehm K'd the side to end it, and the Cobras had advanced. Their reward for advancing is a date with Wesley Homes, the Park National League Champion. Cobras split the series with Wesley this year, winning 8-6, and losing 5-4. This marks the first time since 2000 that the Cobras and Wesley will play in the best of 3 series. The last time the Cobras won in a dramatic game 3, recently voted as best game in Park National History, and went on to finish 2nd in the state tournament. Hopefully the baseball gods have something similar in store for the Snakes this year. First game kicks off tuesday at 6:15 at parade Stadium. See you there bitches!!
7/20: Cobras receive #6 seed in Park National League Playoffs, and will face Richtown Bombers in a win or go home game. Cobras and Richtown split the season series, with Cobras winning the league opener 10-0, and Richtown taking the 2nd game 5-2. Should be a great match-up.
7/17-19: Cobras go 1-2 at the Annual Cold Spring Invitational, losing the 1st game 9-3 to the Sauk Rapids Cyclones, beating Brainerd 6-1, and then losing 9-0 to the host Cold Spring Springers. Recaps on these games later. We do know that Kahtan broke a bat that didn't belong to him, that Deets hit a ball as far as he possibly could, and that Mason pimped a double.
7/15: Cobras beat Rock 6-2. Cobras and Rock open the game with homeruns, Mason Reinhart hitting his 3rd of the year for the Cobras, and then Cobras put the game away with a 4 run third. Kevin Truax goes the first four for the Cobras, followed by Steve King and Natron Broehm. Cobras finish league schedule at 10-8, identical to last year. Given the freak injuries the Cobras have had to deal with, that's not all that bad. Cold Spring Tournament is next, followed by a game with the White Bear Township team.
7/14: Cobras lose 5-4 to Angels. This marks the 2nd time in 11 years that the Cobras have lost to the Angels. It was toilet.
7/12: Cobras take care of Blue Sox, 21-0 in a 5 inning game. Everybody had a hit and scored a run. Kahtan Al-Kaissy hit his first triple as a Cobra with Jensen's bat. Luke Beresford and Steve King combined on a 1 hitter. Couple of highlights:
1.) It was 40 day
2.) Blue Sox C and umpire get into a shouting match
3.) Kahtan Al-Kaissy steals 2nd up 19-0 and is perplexed and angered when teammates proceed to fine him unmercelessly for transgression
4.) Adrian falls over fielding a ground ball in the dugout.
5.)Blue Sox P bends over to stretch his back at least 49 times in 3 innings.
6.) Goose plays an incredibly lame assortment of music on his IPod postgame, not including the "new" Britney Spears stuff he's holding out on us
7.) The Angels, who we really like a lot because they are good guys and because they have a tendency of feeding wayward Cobras who wander too close to their circle, fed some of us. This does not mean we like them enough to lose to them on tuesday. See you there fans. Huge game for both teams.
7/8: Cobras lose to Rock 7-0. Let us never speak of this game again. This game becomes the second thing we don't speak of, the first thing being that other thing. Cobras resume play Sunday versus the Blue Sox. If things go the way they've been going, the Cobras will lose 21-0 and a small Cessna will fall out of the sky and crush the entire left side of the Cobra infield.
7/7: Cobras step off the suckwagon and into Winnerville again with a 9-3 victory over the Metro Merchants on Monday night. Mason Reinhart started things off with a 2 run dong in the 1st and the Cobras never looked back. Reinhart had three hits for the Cobras, John Wengenroth had two including a key 2 run triple, where instead of sliding into third base he ran as fast as he could into the third baseman who stopped his momentum, and Kevin Truax pitched 7 quality innings, giving up 5 hits, walking 1, and striking out 6. The Cobras resume play tonight against the Rocks in a game in what Rob Gossard described in a text message as "a bug league game". Well said Robert, well said.
7/6: Cobras are having a tough time winning games recently, something that's completely unfamiliar to them. The Cobras were getting all of the bounces in the first half of the year, but the second half has become the complete opposite. It's pretty strange. The good thing is that there are no dominant teams in the Park National, just a bunch of teams with quality rosters that love to compete, and all it takes is one victory to right the ship. Cobras will try to do that tonight against the Metro Merchants. 6:15 at Parade Stadium.
6/27-28: Cobras go 1-2 at the very tough Stockmen's Invitational this weekend. Game one pitted the Cobras against the Stillwater Loggers. Cobras get quite a few hits to take a 7-6 lead, but Loggers hit the ball well too, including 37 balls that land within 5 feet of right field foul line. 5 run 6th dooms Cobras as Stillwater wins 11-7. The second game put the Cobras against defending Class A state champ St Louis Park. Clutch hitting and solid pitching from Tyler Miller helps the Cobras win 6-2. Cobras wind up playing Rosetown, in the battle for 5th place. Cobras make 6 errors on the day, but still hold a 2-1 lead late in the game. More errors and a couple of hits for Rosetown give them a 5-2 lead. Cobras trim lead to 5-3 on a Sac Fly by Kevin Truax, but Rob Gossard's liner up the middle with men on 2nd and 3rd and two out in the seventh is snared to preserve a 5-3 victory for Rosetown. The weekend could have easily been a 3-0 success, but it was not to be. Cobras resume action aganst the Lakers and Wesley Homes in league play this week before the July 4th holiday. Hopefully play will continue to pick up.
6/23: Cobras get 1 hit and watch the Warriors yank the ball around the yard all night long. 9-0 loss. Seems as though every year right about this time, the Cobras go through this "we're all hurt and tired and it's too hot and I want to go fishing and my female body part is raw and chapped" phase of the season. Then the Stockmen's Tournament comes up, everybody gets excited about it because they want to hit a home run at little Mcguire Field, and baseball is fun again and the Cobras start winning again. Also, Matty Germar will be making his return from Broken Wrist Land next week, which is a definite positive. 2 good things to take away from last night.
1.) Tyler Miller pitched well in relief
2.) John W. forgot his cell phone so when he came back to the field to get it he and Kahtan (and Kahtan's girlfriend who hides in the truck) brought Popeye's Chicken which was very good. Goose had a food boner. 3 days off and then Stillwater/SLP at Stockmen's on Saturday.
6/22: Cobras lose again to St Louis Park 11-6. Write ups will continue to be short and boring until Cobras decide to win some more.
6/21: Cobras suck worse, lose 7-3. First place slips away for the time being.
6/19: Cobras Suck, lose 5-2
6/17: Cobras beat Commanding Edge 2-0. Zach Strouts pitched 5 great innings even though his arm hurt and Ben Grams finished up. Zach got the first RBI on a terrible call. Luke Foodington got the 2nd RBI on a check swing bunt. Adrian hit a home run that was estimated at 435 feet, and then he fell over. Rob Gossard limped around and defended the Sunshine Factory's mushroomy Philly Cheesesteaks, Mason showed up 20 minutes late eating Noodles, and Ray Noble brought beer, which makes him cool. Cobras get Bombers on friday. Should be an exciting game.
6/13-14: Cobras turn in a solid performance in the Victoria tournament, taking home the 3rd place fictional trophy with a 10-6, 10 inning victory over the Mpls Warriors.
In game 1, the Cobras were pitted against the dangerous Minnetonka Millers. Kevin Truax pitched around 11 hits while only allowing 4 runs. Kahtan Al-Kaissy, who was urinating on the baseball all weekend, drove in both runs for the Cobras. Unfortunately, the Millers responded with a clutch 2 run double in the bottom of the 6th, and took the game 4-2. Pretty well played game all around.
Game 2 saw the Cobras versus the Metro Knights, in their first matchup ever. Thanks to the solid pitching from Ben Grams and Tyler Miller, who wants us all to know that he arrives to games on time unless saddled with Mason, along with some clutch hitting, the Cobras won 4-1. After some mocking of the Knights because they were covering their mouths at a meeting on the mound, no doubt to conceal their secret plans from the scores of hidden cameras the Cobras had placed strategically around the field before the game, the Cobras found that the Knights were a solid all around ballclub.
The third place game matched the Cobras against a familiar opponent, the Mpls Warriors. There was some questioning before the game as to why we didn't just play this game at the cathedral that is Nord' East Athletic Field. The game was a thriller as the two perennial Park National powers traded shots all game. With 2 outs in the ninth, a Mason Reinhart bloop single to right gave the Cobras a 6-5 lead. Warriors answered with a Sac Fly in the bottom of the 9th to send the game to extras. In the 10th, the Cobras took over with a 4 run, 6 hit outburst, to account for the final score of 10-6. Kahtan Al-Kaissy and John Wengenroth had 3 hits for the Cobras, others had two hits, and due to the humid conditions, bats were flying out of people's hands at an alarming rate. Cobras now stand at 12-5 on the year. They will play Commanding Edge on Wednesday, followed by a league game vs the Richtown Bombers on friday night.
6/9: Cobras continue to live dangerously, squeaking out a victory over the Blue Sox 2-1. Few balls left the infield. Nate Broehm and Ben Grams combined for what should have been a shut out if not for the perplexing call at home by everybody's favorite umpire. Dan Thompson and Derek Bartko hit the ball well. Cobras move to 7-1 in league play. Cobras have a few days off before competing in the Victoria Tournament June 13-14.
6/7: Park National Food Drive ends in disaster as a large contingent of homeless people from nearby Parade Stadium ransacks the donation bin. Either that or it was too wet and rainy. I'm getting conflicting reports here. Check back later.
6/5: Cobras lose 5-1 to Victoria. Cobras managed only 5 hits on the day. Pitchers Rob Gossard, Joey Rollwagen, and Tyler Miller, in his Cobras debut, pitched well, but the sticks took a night off. This was probably due in part to a lineup that was comprised mainly of pitchers, FNG's, face babies, and KT. The umpire wore his sunglasses at night. This was not beneficial to his strike zone. Cobras game vs Apple Valley is cancelled tonight, and the blame falls squarely on the shoulders of AV Millers skipper Josh Wigley. Wigley also used to hide his beers in a coat closet so that nobody would drink them. This didn't work for him either. Next up for the Cobras, the Blue Sox on tuesday, 6:15 at Fort Gay.
6/4: The stars continue to align for the Cobras as the beat the Metro Merchants 4-3 in 8 innings on thursday night. Metro put up 2 in the first thanks to a couple of tough chance errors by the Cobras and another in the 4th to take a 3-0 lead. Cobras responded with 2 in the 5th, thanks to three straight bunt singles. Then, in the 7th, Matt Rink's 2 out double tied the game at three. Brian Jensen's liner was snared in the 3rd Base hole and the game went to extra frames. In the 8th, Ted Farni led off with a single and moved to third on a hit and run single by Zach Strouts. Then Derek Bartko hit a Sac fly to drive in the winning run. Strouts pitched 6 strong innings, and new Cobra Ben Grams came in to get the win. Matty Germar was angry with pretty much everyone, but calmed down when he saw people drinking Tallboys and smoking Black & Mild's after the game. Cobras next game is friday vs the Victoria Vics in Victoria.
6/2: Cobras continue their winning ways with a 7-4 victory over the Angels. Rob Gossard made his return to the mound after missing a few games with a tweaked body part and threw three no hit innings. Unfortunately a couple of couple errors and a fly ball lost in the dusk gave the Angels a 4-1 lead after 4 innings. In the fifth the Cobras exploded for 5 runs as they batted around, and in the 6th they added an insurance run for the final score. Nate Broehm pitched the final four innings pick up the "W". Kevin Truax limped around because his legs hurt from pitching, Matty Germar showed up with a much less purple hand in the 5th and instantly evolved into a Rally Monkey, and Zach Strouts whistled so much he distracted his own pitcher. The postgame celebration was relatively subdued. Frost warnings may have had something to do with this. Cobras have a much needed day off followed by a game on thursday with the Metro Merchants at Parade.
6/1: The Cobras opened up June with an 8-6 victory over Wesley Homes. Kevin Truax started his first game on the hill in his Cobras tenure which is significant since it began in 1999. Truax pitched 5 very solid innings, and Kahtan Al-Kaissy pitched the final two for the save. Cobras opened the game with a 4 run first and capped it with a 4 run 5th. After the game, the Cobras enjoyed beer and Australian Liquorice and listened to stories about "Face Babies". Matty Germar's hand was really purple. Angels come to town on tuesday at Parade.
5/29: Cobras lose 16-7. Everything falls apart at the same time, plus Cobras ace Matty Germar is lost for an indeterminate amount of time with a broken wrist which even he described as really painful and kind of gross. Being a baller, he still caught the ball on the dive and showed the umps. Of course this debacle happened against the Lakers who can only be descriped as kryptonite to the Cobras superman-like league record over 11 years. Germar, to his credit, has a bottle of Percocet and an ambitious spirit which will no doubt get him back (at least throwing) sooner rather than later. Cobras have the weekend off to lick their wounds and wish for traffic tickets and pulled muscles to the Laker 9 (actually, thanks to them for being supportive of Matty G) amd will have 5 games in 6 days next week
5/28: The Cobras defeated St Anthony 12-5 last night. Kevin Truax led the game off with a home run and the Cobras never looked back in a game that took a really long time due to many walks. The Cobras walked a season high 13 times against 6 St Anthony pitchers. Ted Farni also went yard for the Cobras. Steve King pitched well thru 4 innings and was relieved by Kahtan Al-Kaissy, and Joey Rollwagen, making his Cobras debut. Rob Gossard tweaked a quad hustling down to first, his status is day to day. Cobras resume action tonight against the Lakers, a team that his given them fits in recent years.
5/27: In a matchup of the last two undefeated teams in the Park National, the Cobras came away with a thrilling 4-3 victory over the Un-Pub. Matty Germar started on the hill for the Cobras, and although he left the bases loaded pretty much every single inning, he still battled and struck out 10. Brian Jensen led the Cobras with 3 hits and an RBI, Rob Gossard had two hits, Luke Beresford hit lasers, and Kahtan Al-Kaissy, who is a big fan of Black & Mild's, delivered a big pinch hit RBI single in the 6th to provide the cushion the Cobras would need. The Warriors loaded the bases with nobody out in the 7th, but a double play and a strikeout ended their rally. With the win the Cobras move to 3-0 in league play. Next up, a nonconference tilt with the St Anthony Hogs followed by a friday league game with the Lakers at Fort Gay.
5/21: The Cobras beat the rats Thursday by a score of 8-3. Zach Strouts went the first 4 and then was replaced by Nate Broehm who went the final 3 striking out 7. Ted Farni went yard, Rob Gossard stole a base and almost tried for a triple, Mason Reinhart rolled on the baseball like Manny, and, thanks to the wonderful Fort Gay lights, Kahtan Al-Kaissy was nearly invisible in the outfield. The Cobras will have the Memorial weekend off, and will resume league play 5/27, with a game against defending league champion the Un-Pub.
5/19: In the opening league game of the year, the Cobras picked apart the Bombers 10-0 in a game ended after 5 innnings. The Cobras opened with a 4 run fourth, all scored after two outs, and cruised from there. Matty Germar pitched 5 solid innings, Matt Rink, Mason Reinhart and Steve King had 2 hits, and Adrian fell over in the parking lot. River Rats are up next.
5/17: In their final tune up before the conference season begins, the Cobras lost to Princeton 7-5. There were a few errors and misplays on the day which allowed the Panthers to account for the majority of their runs. Still, there were positives. Steve King and Matty Germar pitched well, Rob Gossard broke out of his mini-slump with 2 hard singles, and Brian Jensen had 2 hard hit doubles. Thanks to the Panthers for a well played, competitive game. Tell Farmer Fran we're sorry that our fans all brought tiny dogs. We didn't know that "Swede" Field had a moratorium on dogs. Next up for the Snakes, the first league game of the year against the always tough Richtown Bombers.
5/12: The Cobras lost to Minnetonka 3-1 last night. Zach Strouts pitched 7 strong innings on a day where the wind was blowing left to right about 30 miles per hour, allowing only 3 hits to the slugging Millers. Unfortunately, a few errors in the 1st gave the Millers the 2 run cushion they would need for the rest of the game. The Cobras managed 6 hits on the night, 2 by Mason Reinhart, and a double by new Cobra John (Something Unpronounceable but starts with a "W"). Luke Beresford also had some good swings. Nate Broehm struck out the side in the 8th. Billy Ryan shamelessly tried to peddle his wares after the game. Next up for the Cobras, a sunday afternoon tilt in beautiful Princeton, MN with the Princeton Panthers.
5/10: On a brisk Mother's day, the Cobras defeated the Rosetown A's 6-1 in a well played game all around. The Cobras scratched out two runs in each of the first three innings and cruised from there. Steve King made a successful debut, pitching 5 scoreless innings. Rob Gossard came in and finished it out. Ted Farni, in his 2009 debut had three hits and reached base all three times. Matt Rink had two hits, and Mason Reinhart also had two, and he pimped a fly out to the warning track, much to the dismay of the A's catcher. Cobras travel to Veterans Field to take on the Minnetonka Millers on tuesday.
5/7: Cobras start out the season in fine fashion, defeating the St Paul Mudhens 17-3, in a really nice night for baseball at Dunning Field. The Cobras opened up with a 4 run first highlighted by Matt Rink's grand slam. This marks the second consecutive year Rink has hit a home run in his first at bat. Nate Broehm, Matt Germar, and Rob Gossard all pitched well in their 2009 debuts. Adrian did not fall over once, but he did lose a pop-up in the dark. Next up for the Snakes, a mother's day matinee with the Rosetown A's.
5/6: Opener tonight. The Cobras open up tonight against the St Paul Mudhens. We're not sure who's pitching, but we do know that we get new pants.
4/23: Spring training is in high gear. The Cobra nine has been working feverishly in anticipation of opening day. On a sad note, we'd like to announce the retirement of gold glove statistician David Balcer, who, in an impromptu email to the Cobras that surprised even the manager, announced his intentions. Balcer at one time pitched in the Cape Cod League and the Cobras were always frustrated that he never put his entire life on hold to have surgery and rehab his arm. Best of luck Balcer.
2/26: 2009 Schedule is nearly complete. Still working out a few kinks and still have a couple open dates left.
2/9: Interested in scheduling a game with the Cobras in 2009?? Please contact Brian Jensen (firstname.lastname@example.org) or Rob Gossard (email@example.com)to do so. Many dates still available.
1/19: Adrian news. Adrian was apparently out to dinner with people when someone noticed that Adrian was wearing his sweater backwards. In the mass chaos and mocking that ensued, Adrian fell over. Then he put in a chew and frowned for 2 hours.
1/12: It's like 3 degrees outside and all my baseball stuff is laying out in the garage (except my bats, I'm not stupid) frozen stiff inside my baseball bag, which is frozen to the ground. Still, I can feel it in the air, tickling my nose like a Thai hooker. Baseball season is coming....