Stars 9 Monarchs 2

Posted May 7, 2018

Stars 9 Monarchs 2

The Stars beat the Richmond Monarchs 9 to 2 this past Saturday which also happened to be May 5. Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were  eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate(look it up) at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day. The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.

Now some people would read the story above and say: That.Is.So.Stupid. And while the SGR might agree, the correct answer is that it is a form of deflection. In this case deflecting the fact that three games into the 2018 season the SGR is stealing other people’s material instead of coming up with that top notch creative material that our readers expect.

Deflection isn’t all bad. In some ways it’s a basic survival instinct. The instinct being to try and save whatever shred of pride one has left. Examples abound. Take for instance you get doubled off of second by taking off on a fly to centerfield with one out. Its one of those situations where there is no hiding the obvious. What to do? Point out to everyone that you got a great jump! Deflection. Or how about when you try to steal second except there’s a runner already on second. After the other runner sacrifices himself and gets thrown out at third and you are fortunate to get safely to second base, what to do? Simply proclaim “well I guess there wasn’t a steal signal after all.” Deflection! Or, if your throws from home to first are traveling a full 82 feet, just deflect by recounting how a "clazzzzzy" American on your team in Arizona ran a hard 360 to first to beat out an infield hit in one of your games. (Case in point, even he deflected by telling everyone ‘I couldn’t stop.’) See. It’s easy. Feel free to play along at home. Wife yells at you for missing the toilet bowl; point out how you put the seat down when you were done. She'll laugh. Then you'll laugh. Then she'll deflect by slamming your head between the bowl and the seat. Good times!

Stars cobbled together 9 guys to field a team on Saturday. Monarchs scored a run in top of the first off ARob. Stars scored one in the second and the third and that’s all the scoring there was until the bottom of the seventh. Following a single by Big Lefty, Physio hit a bomb to right for a double. TrainRick drew a base on balls. Then he put his sketchbook away, went to the plate and walked. After a run scored on a wild pitch, Big Lar hit a dribbler up the third base line. The Monarch third baseman made a throw to the plate, but the catcher thought it was a force play allowing the run to score. OConn then got a base bit knocking in a run and eventually came around to score the fifth run of the inning on a Monarch error. Stars added two more runs and the Monarchs scored one more in the ninth to complete the scoring. ARob ended up throwing 4 innings allowing 1run on 4 hits and 1walk with 1 K. TrainRick pitched the last 5 innings allowing 5 hits, 1 run, with 6 Ks. OConn led the way going 3 for 5 with a huge triple and scoring 3 times. ARob went 2 for 4 and scored twice. Big Lefty and Physio also each had 2hits and scored once. Big Lar who was 0 for 2018 drove a ball over the center fielders head for a double.

Simpy was hitless at the plate, although he didn’t commit any errors or allow any hits on the day.

Stars are always on the lookout for new talent and heard about Ichiros retirement form the Mariners. Ichiro turns 45 this year, so the SGR tweeted him the following: “#IchiroSuzuki no need to retire. We have a spot for you on our over 45 mens team up here in Vancouver, BC. We will let you lead off. We play Saturday at 9am. DM me.” So far no word.

Stars take to action again this Saturday at Hillcrest against the Pirates. 


  • Wanted: Non-trip cleats. Contact M.O. 604-555-1212
  • For Sale: Cleats. Size 10. Used. Contact M.O. 604-555-1212
  • Lost: Tupperware. If found contact UBER.
  • It\'s \'fear and arrogance\', not \'fear and ignorance.\'
  • The rose goes in the front , big guy.

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