Dbacks Down Ammo-less Guns 4-1

The evening started out oddly when a mysterious darker-skinned fellow showed up in the Dbacks dugout in overalls and shit-kickers.  He claimed to have had previous relations with the team but no one could remember.  This individual called himself "Junior".  When asked what his real name was, he couldn't remember and left after the 2nd inning to retrieve his birth certificate.  He has not been seen since.

Fireballing righty Ryan Saunders showed no signs of fatigue after making the 3-day trek from Field by horseback.  Backed by some solid defence, he gave up one run over seven, and was awarded with the team's "Best Player From Field of the Game" trophy.  

Dbacks jumped on some costly and un-Guntz-like errors in the first few innings and jumped out to a 4-0 lead.  The Guntz ace had a couple of double-play opportunities, but couldn't have rolled two if he had a 6-sided dice with twos on all faces.  He played catch with the center-fielder a couple of times and after that it was time to bring in the Muffin Man.  

True to Dbacks form, they struggled with the soft-tossing righty, pulling several balls foul before rolling-over or striking out.  Dbacks management promptly put in an order for 6 slo-pitch bats to adjust for the gravity induced by the Muffin Man's fastball, which sits somewhere between six and twelve feet in the air.

MVP - Saunders      IMDB - "Junior", whoever that is