DBacks Lose to Sox
Posted June 28, 2013
The Sox started a soft-tossing righty, so immediately the Dbacks were screwed. Despite taking up tree-trunks to the dish, the team could not adjust to the un-clockable speed at which pitches were being thrown.
Lefty Ryan Kennedy saw his first action of the year. Strike-throwing was a bit of an issue, as the umpire's magic 8-ball seemed to disagree with Kennedy on several occasions. He made several suggestions to the umpire regarding his decision device, including "Hold it upside down so you can't peek, cheater!" and "Shake it harder - you're not being fair!".
Shortstop AJ Fystro came in to mop-up the game, looking like a right-handed Billy Wagner firing gas at the knees and a dirty slider that buckled everyone in the ballpark, except for the magic 8-ball.
This is a short news post as the staff writer for the DBacks cannot remember much after the large quantities of loser boozing that occurred post-game.
MVP - Haugrud IMDB - Gerwing, for switching to the losing team