Innisfail Tournament:

Game 1:

Trask took the mound game one. He gave a “Trask like performance” where handle-Jew-shots and off-the-end-nubbers were flocking to the field in swarms. Supplemented with timely errors the dbacks found themselves down 4 – 1 after 2. No one can recall how the dbacks produced that 1 run in the bottom of one, must have not been that great.

Cue the hit parade. The following innings became a blur of merciless carnage as the innisfail pitcher switched into meatball BP mode. JB hit a grand-salami followed by a 2 run blast by Old Man Rivers himself – Pat Shippit. The rest of the lineup peppered singles and doubles all over. Some other dbacks guy barely scraped another big fly out of the wind aided yard, the bases happened to be loaded, no one can recall who did it though. Weird.

Final 17 – 4. Homerun count 4, Grand slam count 2.


MVP: Trask Hr 2 (Grand Slam) RBI 6 but mainly for actually getting a win on the bump in innisfail which hasn’t happened in a few years.
Honorable Mention: JB for hitting a Grand Slam but not taking MVP…… wtf….

Vag Badge: Galen “Unhook the trailer” Akers for being on 2nd and failing to beat out a bunt which rolled to the 3rd basemen standing on his bag.


Game 2:

Powered by dbacks prospect Brad Regher and the FMBA Giants Dominican defector, Kern, the Acme Pirates were all set - winner advancing to the tournament finals.

Gayef took the bump looking for a bounce back performance following his awful outing last week – he started the game with a solo shot prompting pickup Brant Stickle to shout “Stop trying to throw curve balls you big gorilla”. The bomb caused Gayef to enter what is known as “Gayef Rage Mode” inducing spurts of profanity (At the ump, crowd, both teams and the hecklers in the beer gardens), death stares as well as adding 6.7 MPH to everything released from the gorilla’s hand. Ending the game with 1 earned run and 8k’s.

The real gem of the night was the uncharacteristic defense from the dbacks infield and outfield. Robbing 4-5 extra base hits from the acme pirates. Trask almost robbed a homerun but elected to turn it into a double by batting it down like a fourth-down Hail Mary touchdown pass.

Riggers defect Brant Stickel hit a 2 run shot to cap off the game.

Final 10-2

MVP: Pat Shippit for getting a Happy Gilmore batting cage ball to the chest from Gayef after getting signs crossed. If you don’t know what that looks like watch this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2dyLX1t8-E&feature=kp

Vag Badge: Gayef for throwing the ball into center field with a runner on 2 up 10 to 1.

Game 3 (Finals):

For the second straight year the dbacks participated in the Innisfail Tournament Finals. Not to suffer the same fate as the previous year the dbacks started Ryan Saunders who proceeded to throw an absolute gem. By absolute gem I mean 1 walk away from a perfect game, blown by the home plate umpire bottom 6 who issued a free pass on a dicked fast ball allowing the only feet to touch a base all game. Veteran Tony Wyllie was interviewed after the game quoting “Frankly, we were amazed that the ump didn’t blow the game sooner.”

The offence was not too shabby either putting up 18 runs over 6, capped by a grand slam by Trask.

The dbacks also won the beer gardens - putting up an impressive 67 spot in beer count and out lasting everyone in the gardens, including the locals who were stumbling distance from their trailers.

Final 18 – 0

MVP: Ryan Saunders for throwing a No Hitter, Shutout, CG and what probably should have been a perfect game.

Vag Badge: Sudsy for getting back-doored at first base with a runner on 2 up 12 runs even though “he got back in time”.