In the midst of a 14-game home/road trip, the Dbacks looked to lay the smack down on arch-most-hated-team-rival the Cardinals.

Known for their fine taste in classy women, the DBacks once again did not disappoint on this day. The fans were so impressive, in fact, that league MVPierre started the home plate meeting with "Who brought the girl with the giant fun bags?" Smooth line, Pierre.

The joy from the Cardinals' bench on word that Gayef is not on the bump is quickly extinguished when they learn veteran knuckleballer Tony Wyllie gets the start in his place. Wyllie also hasn't lost to them in 3 years.

Game is broken wide open when Ted "Teddy Ballgame" Higa hits a bases loaded single to the Cards' right fielder who decides to play hide-n-go-seek after accidentally knocking his hat off onto the ball. While he was chasing butterflies looking for the ball, the Dbacks cleared the bases to take the lead.

Tony continued to stifle the Cards' offence with his patented combination of slow, slower, and slowest.

Rookie Cam Wiche closes the door with a fastball clocked at 104mph.

MVP - Cards' Right Fielder's Hat
Vag Badge - MVPierre for 1st-rate creepiness