MERCY-SARUS!!!! RAWR.
Posted June 6, 2016
A balmy 28 degrees kicked off another pack the park 2016 as wide-mouthed spectators watched the DBacks fill the stands with partial nudity, questionable characters and debatable heckles. Veteran DBacks Starter Tony Wyllie made his first start of the year with very predictable results – nothing hit hard with lots of balls put in play, allowing the Dbacks defence to show everyone just how hung-over they were (Very). Tony coped by consuming 1-beer-per-inning (as usual) leaving with a lead of 5-3 in line for the W after 5 innings of solid work.
Coop had a particularly rough go behind the dish, missing a few catcher pops, a throw to the dish from left and a tag up from 3rd – He would totally redeem himself in game 2 however. The DBacks would eventually sober up and toss out a few runners at the dish, power supplied by Terrance (left) and Gerwing (right). Twins Captain Trevor “Marv” Freeman got picked off stealing 3rd trying to emulate his hero and doppelganger Prince Fielder.
The game would end with what looks like a new trend for the 2016 DBacks, seeing reliever Tyler Vavera snipe the W from the Wyllie Coyote without remorse. Final Score 6 – 5 DBacks.
MVP: Zanutto (3 – 4 2RBI), Trask going (4 – 4)
VAG: Bud Eistein for being loser-drunk in the stands.
Game 2:
236 Beers deep the Dbacks Fans elevated to the next level, breaking out the infamous Boot-Toss and suiting up an adult-sized t-rex costume to unleash just god-awful, yet effective, beaks from the stands.
Wong took the bump taking managements request of “NO MORE STRIKEOUTS” literally, recording zero strikeouts over 6 innings of 1 run ball. Cooper finally loosened up after catching a full game (first time in 3 years) and blasted a go-ahead 2 run dinger over the right-center wall. The Twins hung in the game until a FMBA version of the red-wedding occured in the 6th, DBacks Management decided to watch the bloodshed from the stands as the DBacks put a 9 spot on the board for a 11 – 1 Mercy.
MVP: COOP-A-LOOP for his MAMMO
VAG: Gerwing for going 1 for 7 on the day - Pompting Managment to issue a message.