Stars 12 Royals 4

The Stars beat the Royals 12 to 4 in semi final action to move on to the over 45 championship final. And now a word from the SGR’s newest sponsor:

"Simply here, for Ronco's Suicide Squeeze Garter Belts. You know there's nothing I hate worse than having a garter belt fail in the middle of a passionate moment. Having your boot go flying off could not only wreck the mood, it could put an eye out! So whenever I am in the heat of the moment I rely on my Suicide Squeeze Garter belts from my good friends at Ronco. Unlike those other cheap imitation garter belts, Suicide Squeeze brand belts are made of genuine Saskatchewan seal skin, the strongest and most sensual substance known to man. These babies hold so tight that you think you're going to die and hope that you will. Ronco offers a full moneyback guarantee if you're not 100% satisfied. I stand fully behind this product. Unless of course the suicide squeeze signal is on in which case I'll be running home! In any case, with Suicide Squeeze Garter belts you are bound to score! Remember nothing says 'squeeze' like 'Suicide Squeeze.' (Offer not available in New York and anywhere that self respect is still important.)

The SGR mailbag was full this week, mostly of flyers, junk mail, and cigareete butts. However, amidst the junk there was one letter from a little Jimmy from Ladner. Little Jimmy writes:

"Dear SGR, All the kids in town have been following the Stars success this year and are excited about Big Lar's new glove. They say that Big Lar's glove is made out of leather from the cow that provided the milk Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, and Tup drank when they were just children. Can you tell me if this is true, or is this story just made up out of whole cloth by some wanna be sports writer who writes blog posts just to make himself seem important and to entertain his teammates, but mostly to make himself seem important?" 

Well thanks for your letter Little Jimmy.  The answer to your question is of course yes. Thanks again and I hope you and your friends are able to find other more interesting things to talk about. Like girls or guns or something.

The Stars did win their semi final match against the Royals to head to the playoff championship game for the fourth consecutive year where they will face the Pirates, also for the fourth consecutive year. Outstanding game against the Royals. Stars collected 20 hits in total leading to 12 runs. Solid pitching and timely defense kept the Royals to just 4 runs on 10 hits. 

As Forrest Gump would say, “And that’s all I got to say about that.” Not that there isn’t more to say as there was lots of stuff that happened, and guys other than Big Lars glove did lots of stuff. But it’s late, I’m tired, and OConn said we have a 9PM curfew, so that's all for this edition of the SGR.

Stars v. Pirates in the 2017 45+ Championship game, Saturday at Robert Burnaby park. Game time 10AM.

GO STARS!!!