Scouting Report: exceptional all around player, versatile, intimidating grunter, runs like the wind
Diet: coffee, cigarettes
Hobbies: drinking coffee, smoking, cleaning his car, shaving and golf
Quote: "I am a career .426 hitter. I hit .439 in 1997, .300 in 1998, .436 in 1999, .416 in 2000, .446 in 2001, .418 in 2002, .410 in 2003 and .516 in 2004. Like a fiiine wiiiine, or a piece of beeeef, I am getting better with aaage."