2008 Season Recap


12/11: Aron Helm sighting. Apparently, the former Cobra is now trying his luck as a wedding photographer's assistant. Good luck Aron! Try not to look under the brides' dresses anymore. In a related note, former Cobra Lil' Jonny Ras has taken a job as a men's room attendant. His motto? "You'll never have to shake for yourself again." Congratulations to both former Cobras.

10/25: End of year Cobras party was a big success as we roll along looking forward to next year. Rob cooked up some gigantic burgers which made everybody want to go take a nap instead of play poker, but eventually the game got rolling. 2 non Cobras placed 1st and 2nd but Jensen took 3rd while munching on a Charleston Chew and drinking Diet Coke in a tiny bottle. KT saw a large chip stack evaporate due to questionable decision making, Deets was card dead most of the night, and Adrian fell asleep at the table. Rob has numerous Buddha statues situated throughout the house and he had to keep reminding himself they weren't self portraits, and KT brought a tiny dog which he had to go check on every 30 seconds or so. A good time was had by all.

9/29: Quick Note: Have you ever wanted to feel like a foster kid but you never had the opportunity simply because you were raised by your "real" parents? Well your days of wishing are over because all you have to do to feel like a real life foster kid is read any of Bill Nelson's blog on the Minnesota Baseball Website. Bill Nelson's Blog: "Where any Class A baseball player can feel like an unwanted foster kid."

8/27: Congrats to former Cobra Brent Krause who was recently signed by the Milwaukee Brewers AA affiliate, the Huntsville Stars. Krause enjoyed a good year with the St Paul Saints and the Brewers took notice. Former Cobra Lil' Jonny Ras was peeing his pants with excitement over this news.

8/17: Congrats to St Louis Park for winning the Class A state championship in dominant fashion. Former Cobra Dave Lindstrom was named Co-MVP, launching 4 homeruns in the tourney while undoubtedly wearing Vuarnet sunglasses the entire time. Next up for the Cobras: Working, going to college, and eating the occasional hash brownie while hanging in the back of the coffin factory.

Cobras season ends. For the second time in 10 years the Cobras have lost before reaching state. This time it was at the hands of an 11-2 defeat by the Lakers. The Lakers were the best team in this tourney and it showed. They hit the ball well, and they defeated Matty Germar which has been nearly impossible for the last two months. Congrats to the Lakers, they deserve it. Do the Park National proud.

7/31: Cobras lose 5-1. Lakers pitcher does a great job and that's about it. Cobras play better than the 12-9 win. Do or die time at Parade Stadium. Always the most fun of games...

7/30: Cobras beat the Lakers 12-9 in what was a long, fairly sloppy game for both teams. Lakers jumped out to a 9-4 lead after 5 innings but the Cobras rallied for 6 in the 6th and then added 2 insurance runs in the 8th and 9th for the final score. Cobras pounded out 15 hits led by Kevin Truax with 4. Rob Gossard had two doubles, and a host of other players had two hits. Zach Strouts somehow vultured a win even though he started the game. Ted Farni came in and pitched three clutch scoreless innings and then Nate Broehm, fresh from Alaska, closed it out. Tonight the Cobras will try to close out the Lakers and head to State for the 9th time in 10 years.

7/28: Congratulations to the four Cobras all stars. Mason Reinhart is the starting 3rd baseman, Chris Herbert is a backup catcher, Brian Jensen is a backup DH (first we'll have you sit around, then you can sit around and hit) and Matty Germar will pitch at some point. You can point to many other Cobras and make the argument for them as well (although we haven't had stats all year).

7/26: The Cobras beat the Merchants 6-2. Crisp game played. Next up, the best 2 of 3 series with the Lakers. The Cobras split with the Lakers this year in the league, losing early in the season 7-2, and winning 3-0. There was also a game the Cobras won in the S. St Paul Stockmen's tournament 6-3. It should be a fun, evenly matched series.

7/24: The Cobras lost to the Minnetonka Millers 4-1 last night. Zach Strouts pitched a great game. Brian Jensen had 2 hits for the Cobras. Adrian fell over and everybody noticed. Next up, the playoffs playing the winner of the Merchants/Blue Sox game.

7/22: Thanks to the Angels for feeding Goose chicken. He loves food.

7/18-20: Nick Bell Classic, Cold Spring, MN. The Cobras traveled up to beautiful Cold Spring, MN to participate in the Nick Bell Classic for the 5th consecutive year. In the first game of the round robin style tournament, the Cobras took on a familiar opponent, the Rosetown A's. This was the third meeting of the year between the two perennial state contenders, with each team splitting one game so far. The game started poorly as the Cobras fell behind 6-0 but rallied with 2 in the 5th and 4 in the 6th to tie it at 6. Rosetown responded with 5 in the bottom of the 6th, but the Cobras scored 5 in the 7th to knot it at 11. However Rosetown scored in the bottom of the 7th to win 12-11. Adrian was lacing doubles and falling down all over the yard. Kevin Truax had 3 hits. The Cobras walked 11 times, and Matty Germar struck out 4 times and blamed his wrist. Punk ass wrist!
Game 2 found the Cobras taking on the Brainerd Bees. Even though Brainerd is pretty far from Minneapolis, the Cobras and Bees always manage to play each other at least once a year. Nobody knows how this happens. Cobras jumped out to a 1-0 lead in the 1st on an RBI single by Mason Reinhart. Brainerd answers with 5 in the second but then the Cobras put the game out of reach with an 8 run 2nd, started by a Zach Strouts 2 out reach-on-error, and not ending until Strouts, making his 2nd AB of the inning, got out. Final score was 11-5. Derek Bartko had 3 hits. Kevin Truax, David Balcer, Steve King, and Mason Reinahrt had 2.
The final game of the tournament pitted the Cobras against the tournament host Cold Spring Springers, a top rated Class "B" team coming in with a record of 34-3. After the teams traded zeros for 3 and a half innings Cold Spring jumped out to a 3-0 lead on a walk and some well placed singles. In the 5th the Cobras began a big rally. A few walks and hits led to a 3-3 tie, and then Rob Gossard delivered a big blow with a 2 run double to give the Cobras a 5-3 lead. The lead lasted until the bottom of the 6th when Cold Spring scored 3 more runs on a walk and a few more well placed hits to make it 6-5. The Cobras tied it in the 7th on a two out double by Brian Jensen. In the 9th, Chris Herbert's double and Matty Germar's Sac fly brought in the 7th and 8th runs. Cold Spring plated one in the 9th thanks to some questionable umpiring, but could get no more, as the Cobras won 8-7. Cobras had 12 hits on the day. Matty Germar made a nice effort on a foul ball down the right field line and then tried to shamelessly cheat immediately afterwards. Adrian fell onto his back from the weight of a high pop up, but also made a webgem in the 9th (he did have to fall down to make the webgem however.) Thanks again to Cold Spring for hosting a nice tournament. We apologize for being a Class "A" team and making your tournament suck so much more.

7/17: The Cobras closed out the Park National regular season in fine style, defeating Wesley Homes 11-5. The Cobras put up 9 runs in the first three innings and put it on autopilot the rest of the game. Matty Germar pitched a gutsy 4 innings on 2 days rest to earn the win. Nate Broehm made his long anticipated return from injury, pitching 2 scoreless innings to close out the game. He then immediately left for Alaska. Mason Reinhart and Brian Jensen had 3 RBI's each and Kevin Truax scored a Cobras record 5 runs. Adrian fell over at least 3 times, tying a Cobras record he already holds. It wasn't a particularly crisp game by either team but it was a win. Now the Cobras must wait until the cluster of teams in 3rd thru 7th place sort themselves out via tiebreakers and coin flips and rock/paper/scissors and such to find out when they will play their first playoff game. Until then they'll be in Cold Spring, competing in the fabled Nick Bell Classic, which, according to Bill Nelson, used to be much better until the infusion of Class "A" teams. At least he mentioned us...

7/16: The Cobras got up over the .500 mark last night with a convincing 13-2 win over the Blue Sox in a game that was ended by the 10 run rule. Cobras had an amazing amount of baserunners over 5 innings as they plated 13 but also stranded 12. Ted Farni finally got some run support, picking up his first Cobra win. Adrian, not in attendance, fell over at his house. Chris Herbert batted lefthanded and made numerous comments about how pretty the moon was. Next up for the Cobras, the final league game of the year against Wesley Homes at Fort Schnelling.

*****A retroactive note to the monkey: There was no "split" in the lot on monday. You slung the dung right back into your own mouth. Be careful, that kind of slanderous talk can end with you being sent back to Project X.

7/14: The Cobras beat the Angels 8-1 last night. In a must win game, the Cobras pounded out 15 hits, including 7 in a 7 run 5th that saw 9 straight men reach base until Zach grounded out. Matty Germar was more dominant than normal, striking out a season high 11 Angels, with a variety of well located fastballs and nasty offspeed stuff. Steve King is now going to wear #21 because of a dog urine accident. Adrian fell over while doing the book. Next up for the Cobras, the Blue Sox on 7/16.

7/11: Cobras and Homies get rained out. We knew that tornados and thunderstorms were coming our way but we still tryed to play. They shut the airport down before cancelling our game. Game will be made up sometime in the near future. Next up is the 2nd place Angels led by a large contingency of veterans, and a poop-slinging monkey announcer who doesn't like the Rocks.

7/9: The Cobras beat the Merchants 8-1. Matty Germar was dominant on the hill striking out 7 and allowing 5 hits. Adrian began the 5 run third by singling and not falling over. Zach tried to stretch a single into a double and was thrown out easily. Great team effort, next up is the always tough Wesley Homes Homies.

7/6: On a muggy night in the west metro, the Cobras were downed by the Minnetonka Millers 11-1. Cobras scattered 8 hits, 3 by Matt Rink, but were unable to get any sort of real threat going. The Millers hit the ball well, and, as has been the case recently, a big first inning proved too much for the Cobras to came back from. Three things to note:
1.) Adrian nearly fell over after getting hit by a 60 mph curve

2.) The Millers have more players on their roster than the Cobras have had in their 10 year history.

3.) If you spit sunflower seeds on the Veterans Field field, even though it explicitly says don't, a turf monster will try to trip you on your way to first base.

Next up for the Cobras, an important league game with the Metro Merchants on Wednesday at Parade. Try to avoid the homeless people.

7/2: Due to a large assortment of achy breaky body parts, insect bites, and lake monsters, the Cobras were forced to throw together a patchwork lineup for an important league game. It showed, as the Cobras were defeated 7-0 by the Rats. The 7-0 score is appropriate, because that's the score that shows up if a team has to forfeit, and the Cobras were close to having to do that. The Rats did a great job being pesky and annoying, and their pitchers were solid as well. The Cobras did a good job of not getting so frustrated that they punched any of the Rats in the handshake line. Next up, 600 time Class A champ Minnetonka at Veterans Field.

7/1: The Cobras were most definitely paper, and not scissors, in defeating the Rocks 8-2. Matty Germar threw a gem, allowing 5 hits and no walks while striking out 5. The Cobras pounded out 15 hits against two Rocks pitchers led by Kevin Truax's 4. Rob Gossard and Ted Farni each had 3 hits, and Chris Herbert made a ridiculous defensive play, robbing a foul ball while stepping around bats and helmets. It was a pretty crisp game all around. Even the homeless guys in the stands took notice. Next up for the Cobras is the surprising River Rats, who handed away a victory in the two teams first meeting.

6/29: The 3rd Place Game saw the Cobras taking on the perennial state power Rosetown A's where they came away with a dramatic 4-3, 8 inning victory. Rob Gossard was confounding to the fastball loving A's, allowing 3 runs on only 2 hits thru 7 innings, and also swearing loudly on the several instances he threw behind hitters. With the score tied 3-3 in the top of the 8th, Chris Herbert, fresh from the cabin, hit the game winning big fly over the 312 ft sign in left. Kevin Truax came in and closed the game out with a scoreless 8th, and the Cobras celebrated their 3rd place victory by drinking beer and complaining that the bratwursts' buns were too big. Ted Farni had 3 hits for the Cobras and Kevin Truax had two. Next up for the Cobras, an important league tilt against the Rocks. Hopefully the Cobras will play the role of "paper" and not "scissors."

6/28: Stockmen's Irish Tournament: The Cobras lost their first game of the day 9-0 to St Louis Park. St Louis Park hit the ball well, including 2 homeruns and another ruled foul that "even the guy at the pool knew was fair." The game marked the 1 day un-retirement of former Cobra, Dallas "Mustache Face" Helmbolt. Cobras rebounded in the second game with a 6-3 win over the Lakers to propel them to the 3rd place game against some St Paul team. Mason Reinhart had 3 doubles for the Cobras and Steve King (insert spooky music here) had another strong outing. Zach Strouts reached base on an error, Matt Germar went F-2 twice, B Jensen made one of the least accurate throws home in baseball history, and Rob Gossard apologized profusely for being gay.

6/25: Timely hitting by the Pubrriors dooms the Cobras in an 8-1 loss. We need our players to nut up and come to games. Matty Germar was solid again but the Pubrriors did a great job with their 2 out hitting. Brian Jensen had two hits and Rob Gossard had an RBI. Adrian fell over numerous times but was flawless at first. 5-7 won't cut it anywhere. Let's go. Next up, the Stockmen's Invitational Tournament. Hopefully 9 show up vs the always tough St Louis Park team or the Lakers, whoever comes first.

6/23: The June swoon continues. Cobras lose 2-1 to St Anthony. St Anthony plates 2 unearned runs and the Cobras decide today is a bad day to hit the ball. Dan Thompson has 3 hits and Matty Germar reaches base all three times. Steve King (insert spooky music here) pitches well, allowing 5 hits, and also hits lazers that are accidentally caught by St Anthony kids. Next up for the Cobras, a key matchup with the Mpls (don't call me Lyon's Pub) Warriors.

6/21: Golf Tournament was a big success. It was a nice day and everybody had a good time. A special thanks to all that participated in our fundraiser. Also, big up to all the shady characters lurking around the ghetto liquor store down the block from the golf course for not killing me when I went to get more beer after we ran out.

6/20: Ugly. The only way to describe the Cobras 9-5 loss to the Bombers. A 7 run first was a killer. Cobras responded OK and cut the lead to 8-5 but could get no closer. Lil' Jonny complained loudly while guzzling malt beverages from the stands. Lil' Jonny got OE confused with St Ides. Who does that?? Next up, a nonconference tilt with the St Anthony Hogs on 6/23.

6/20: It's 40 night tonight sponsored by former Cobra Lil' Jonny Ras. Last year Lil' Jonny drank a 160 and had a hard time getting out of bed the next day. A note to the various meth addled homeless derelicts wandering around Parade Stadium: You may NOT have a 40 or a baseball.

6/18: The Cobras beat the Lakers last night 3-0 thanks to another dominant performance from Matty Germar. Germar was a little bit all over the place in the first couple of innings, but then he settled down and kept the Lakers confused all night. The Cobras scored all of the runs they would need in the first inning. The first run came in on a botched pick off play, the second on an error by the second baseman, and the third on a Rob Gossard looping liner. Kevin Truax and Brian Jensen each had 2 hits for the Cobras. Zach had a hit so life is good, but also did a lot of bouncing around over by first base which eventually got him in trouble. Next up for the Cobras is a very tough Richtown Bombers squad. Cobras will have to play their best to win.

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