Monday's game was a tight affair (like Rob's vagina) in which the Dodgers almost blew a 7 run lead only to be saved by a clutch Barth single in the bottom of the sixth. In Barth's own words, "I totally saved their brutal asses! It's too bad I won't be around for playoffs, 'cause these guys clearly need me."

Wednesday's game was much.....looser (like Rob's anus). Sticking a porous kitchen utensil at SS wasn't the best idea and left fielder Cam Barth though it was more important to fetch his fallen hat after catching a fly ball than return the ball into the infield to prevent runners from tagging up. When asked about the incident, Barth replied, "My hat fell off! How can you expect anyone to perform without a hat on? Brutal question!" However, the small number of mistakes didn't affect the outcome. The Dodgers were up against one of the strongest teams this reporter has ever seen the Dodgers play. How Stixxx and Mitts ever ended up in rec division is beyond me.

In other Dodger news, with playoffs just around the corner, the excitement in the locker room is palpable. When asked to describe the situation, pitcher Rob "Prime Time Ginger Vagine" Timlick replied, "I don't really use the locker room, I don't like the way Bird looks at me when I change." Team Captain Mike Johnson who "loves the way Bird ogles because it means the fondling can't be far behind" thinks that the team is pumped and ready for some hot playoff action and is expecting a great round robin on Saturday.

That's it for this week folks. Expect another report from the playoffs as the Dodgers continue their quest for greatness.

Oliver T