Another week of games, another week of absentee reporting. I was covering the Arctic Monkeys/Black Keys concert, which was most excellent but seriously deficient in giant, foam-spewing dick cannons. Maybe they'll work one into their next tour. Fortunately, I have an always reliable cadre of informants and scouts so that I never miss a slo-pitch beat.  

This week saw the Dodgers fighting crazy weather, roster adjustments and injuries while facing a familiar opponent in Nuckin Futs, earning a split in the process. As usual for the month of May, the Dodgers had to find several subs to fill out the roster. As always, the subs proved invaluable to the team. Unfortunately, another regular went down with an injury as Thomas is lost for the season with a broken fingernail.  Thomas flashed the nails and the pinky paid the price in a play at second base. "You should see the other guy", Thomas was quoted as saying. We should indeed, Thomas, we should indeed.

In other news, Captain Evil still hasn't updated the stats for this season drawing ire from anonymous sources. Sources who don't want Captain Evil's wrath raining down on their heads. Similar to Rob's wrath but with less estrogen and urine. There's been talk of a mutiny if her evilness continues to ignore the needs of her people.

That's it for this week! Tune in for our next report from tournament weekend where the Dodgers are scheduled to play a minimum of 9 games in 4 days.